A little side note disclaimer: Any one who knows me well could tell you that I like to succeed. I don't like doing things I am not good at. Even as I write that last sentence I realize how egotistical and cowardly that makes me sound. But its true. I really struggle even trying things that I think I may not be really REALLY good at. For this reason I can tell you quiet honestly that I don't play Volleyball....I either hit the ball into the net or straight up. When I first started learning how to play it didn't come naturally so I gave it up quickly. As an adult I don't participate in pick up games on the beach at Hebgen or with my YW because I am not good at it.
There are a lot of things I don't do because I am afraid of not doing them well, (and to be honest there are a lot of things I will try because I have the confidence that I will simply excel at them). Sometimes I am right...I am terrible at the things I think I will be terrible at and great at the things that I think I will be good at. AND sometimes I am delightfully proven wrong and something I fear trying isn't all that bad. AND much to my dismay often the things that I am or think I am good at don't turn out (like my bundt cake last week of which half stayed in the pan when I attempted to plate it to take it to my neighbor- I was not happy).
Back to the point: There are a lot of things I would like to be, do and try. For starters I want to be a more candid blogger. I want to be honest rather than perfect. I want to be more consistent in my posts because; I really think a blog can be a great Motivator as I share my goals in a forum that cannot be easily erased. It makes me dreadfully nervous that no one will read my blog, but that is precisely the fear I am trying to address. It is okay, right? It doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to an amazing blogger to keep to it. Because what I want to have this and subsequent posts chronicling my adventures in "becoming" to be is journal and sharing place. Hopefully I can foster my own blogging environment that can laugh at my mistakes, not take myself too seriously and celebrate with myself as I learn new skills.
Some of my Goals: In my frequent thoughts of what I want to become I have come up with a little list of things that I would like to become:
Motivated
Fit
a Gardner
a Cook
Patient (mostly with myself)
a Graphic Designer (reveal: I am looking into online courses so I can actually finish my college degree that I started 10 years ago and I think this is what I want to study)
a better dancer
Organized
Financially self-reliant
Clean and tidy
a monthly temple attender
a student of the scriptures
a reader
a journaler
fashionable
Things I want to try and/or learn:
new recipes
making Baklava
knitting
making my own clothes (at least one item)
composting
painting my fingernails more
a new hairstyle
reupholstering a piece of furniture
making my own baby food
Zumba (believe it or not I have never tried it)
Adobe Photoshop
Capoeira
how to make picture frames and cut mats
This list is a living list, it will grow and change almost for sure, but for now I am excited to get started. To start becoming and start doing....
9 comments:
Good for you, Court! These are great goals! I think the flexibility one finds later in life (I mean, once you are married and settled, instead of still single) is actually kind of freeing. It's hard to feel like you don't have a "thing" or a defined role of self (outside of wife and mother which are great roles but we need something for ourselves, right?). I remember feeling the same way after I had Charlie- I started thinking, what do I want to do with my life? And trying new things and setting and completing goals is really fun. So best wishes on this new phase of balancing life and motherhood, you'll be great!
Miss Courtney, you are amazing! I love your lists. I must admit, that knitting was at the top of my list a month ago. I went out and got cheap yarn and a couple of cheap needles and then watched youtube 'how to knit videos' over and over until I got it down. Then I found an easy pattern at the store for a baby blanket. You can totally pick that one up, and quick!
For a minute there, I thought it was Scott writing. Then I read "knitting". Still, thought--Ok, Scott wants to take up knitting.
Then I got to the nails painting.
Then I got to the author part. Duh.
Nice post, Courtney. :D
We'd love to hit a temple night sometime with you guys!
Hope all is well.
I made my own baby food for Charlie and Claire and it was so fun! You will have a blast!
Remember all the times in High School I use to tell you that you needed to be a graphic designer??? You had the most amazing reports full of fanny graphics etc.
The really great thing is you can be and do and try whatever you want...I think you could possibly do it all!
good luck court. it is always good to have things to work towards. sounds fun! i love you!!
ps. also: becoming takes a long time, so remember to be kind to yourself. allow yourself baby steps. i hope you will also allow lots of days just sitting still, snuggling with your baby. -unsolicited advice, i know. :)
Great lists, you might have just motivated me to make my own. And I know it's been a little while, but congratulations on little Charlotte, she's adorable!!!
So, I was thinking.. if you ever want to feel like you are really really good at something, you should come stand by me in a Zumba class. just a thought.. I am looking for a good Gym buddy.
Love you, Court! I LOVE how you are who you are1 It is delightful to be around you. Thanks for making me think about what I want to become and do with my life. Right now its a little hard to look beyond my six kids and Brian, but I think it would be healthy to start dreaming, thinking. Healthy for my kids, too, to see my trying new things, doing something because I really want to try it. I too, steer away from things I know I can't do well. Just started reading a new book called The Talent Code--it is gradually wiping away all my old excuses about why I am not "good" at something, and putting it back in my lap--I can become or succeed at anything that I am willing to put in long term consistent effort. So, I am thinking about that and what I want to try. Now you've got me talking :)...
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